Soulmates might just be bullshit.
I know that there are people out there that are going to read this and think that it is because I have not found my soulmate. Others might contest that soulmates are the people that you are destined to be with and are the people that will bring you the best joys in your life. As you can probably figure out, I see some faults with this assumption, and like any philosopher, I have to call it out.
It all begins with The Symposium, one of Plato’s dialogues. In it, the comic Aristophanes tells the story of the original humans. In the beginning, people were quadrupedal, 4 armed, two-faced beings. The gods feared that the humans will overthrow them (the gods) in the same way that they (the gods) overthrew the Titans in the past. Simply murdering them will not do as no one would pay tribute to them. Zeus instead cut everyone in half, and after Apollo put people back in the form that we now appear in -bipedal, two armed, one faced beings- people have been searching for the other half that Zeus removed from them. From this parable, there are some features of the soulmate relationship.
The Soulmate Relation is Bijective.
In mathematics, a bijection is a relation where each element of the codomain is mapped to at most one element of the domain (injection) and at least one element of the domain (surjection). Thusly each element of the codomain is mapped to exactly one element of the domain. Let us look at a simple relation x=y. Each y is mapped to exactly one x. For example, two is mapped exactly to 2. Let us look at the soulmate relation this way. The domain and the codomain of the soulmate relation are the same; the set is the human race. Thusly, this says that each person has exactly one soulmate.
The Soulmate Relation is not Reflexive.
A reflexive relation is a relation that applies to itself. Let us look at the most obvious example of a reflexive relation: identity. Identity is a reflexive relation because everyone is identical to themselves. Plato is identical to Plato. 2=2. Ajani the cat is identical to Ajani the cat. This is not the case when it comes to soulmates, however. As the story alludes to, soulmates are distinct beings. Assistant Professor Ryan Christensen in talking about The Symposium elaborates on Plato’s objection. He states “Love requires that the other be other… You can’t desire something that isn’t other than you.” From this, we can see that the soulmate relation cannot be reflexive as it would say that X is the soulmate of X, which by Plato’s account does not demonstrate love.
The Soulmate Relation is Symmetric.
A symmetric relation is a relation generally between two objects. It states that if X has a relation to Y, Y has the same relation to X. The relation “is the same age as” is a symmetric relation. John Cho – perhaps best known for his role as Harold Lee from the Harold and Kumar films- is the same age as Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. Since this is a symmetric relation, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is the same age as John Cho. Both are 46. The soulmate relation works like this. Suppose that Dwayne is the soulmate of John. John then is the soulmate of Dwayne.
The Soulmate Relation is not Transitive.
A transitive relation is a relation generally between three objects. It states that if X has a relation to Y and Y has that same relation to Z, X has that relation to Z. Let us look at the relation “has a faster dive speed than”. The Peregrine Falcon has a faster dive speed than the Golden Eagle. At the same time, the Golden Eagle has a faster dive speed than the Gyrfalcon. Therefore, the Peregrine Falcon has a faster dive speed than the Gyrfalcon. The soulmate relation is not transitive. Using the properties listed above, let us see why it is not the case. Assume that Dwayne is the soulmate of John. From symmetry, we see that John is the soulmate of Dwayne. Should this relation be transitive, John would be the soulmate of John. This fails on two cases. First, this states that John has two soulmates- Dwayne and John- which goes against bijection. Second, this states that John is his own soulmate, which goes against reflexivity. Thusly it does not hold that transitivity does not hold.
This type of soulmate relation is bullshit.
When we look at Aristophanes’s story, we have to remember that it is a story that he decides to tell. Thusly, it might not be the case that these are the properties of a soulmate. While some people will still vehemently believe in soulmates as described above, I still see some flaw in this. The major problem is that there is only one soulmate per person. No this is not going to be a rant on why monogamy is a flawed ideology. This is more of the idea that why should there only be one person harmonizing with you. As humans, we are complex and changing beings. It would be impressive if there existed a person that complemented and bettered us perfectly, but realistically this is not the case. Perfection does not exist. So we go towards what we perceived to be the closest to perfect. That person will never fully complement us, but no one person will. Multiple people, however, will help you grow tremendously and be there for you. Somedays we need our fair weather friends and other days we need out foul weather friends.
It is bullshit to think that one person is your soulmate or your deus ex machina. No one person is your cure-all, but there are people trying to help you. They can be your friends, your family, your colleagues, your advisors or even your idols. If you made it to this conclusion, congrats. Go tell the people that matter to you that they matter.
CATA Philosophy 